Divorce is hard enough on kids. It gets even tougher when they feel like they are in the middle or have to make a choice between mom or dad. Every parent involved in a divorce needs to try as best they can to put their children’s interests first. Every child therapist, custody evaluator, or other professional seems to stress this important fact. Here are a few things we have seen good parents do in divorces we believe really helped the kids stay out of the divorce.
Don’t Discuss the Divorce with the Kids
This is often tough advice for parents to follow for a number of reasons. First the parents may have a very open relationship with their children and may be accustom to discussing openly family matters. However, parents need to keep in mind the enormous amount of stress discussing divorce issues can have on kids. Even if you are not bad mouthing your ex, discussing the divorce can be very difficult for the children. Often, the children are the ones asking the questions, sometimes they are older kids who are teenagers but still minors and still not capable of processing issues like an adult. Just because you have older children doesn’t necessarily mean they are capable of not being negatively impacted by the divorce being discussed with them in the home. You should especially refrain from disparaging the other party in front of the kids. In fact, good parents, despite their differences, are able to be positive towards the other parents relationship with the children.
Stability for the Children
Children’s lives can be turned upside down during a divorce. Maintaining a stable environment for the kids can be key to getting them through. Often this means you may have to sacrifice your own wants for custody for what you know will provide the most stable environment for the children. For instance, if you work long hours or frequently travel, a joint 50/50 custody relationship may not be in the kids’ best interests, it may be what you want but if it will lead to an unstable custody arrangement, you may want to consider alternatives.
Advice from a Lawyer
Getting good advice from an Ogden Divorce Attorney can help. A good lawyer will give you an honest assessment of your situation and provide advice to not only improve your custody position but to help keep your kids from getting too involved in the divorce. Consult with a lawyer if you have any questions about custody or other child’s issues and a good attorney will give you the best advice to help you and your children, even if it may not be exactly what you want to hear.